Friday, March 27, 2015

Revelations?

The past few months have been what felt to me like a slight whirlwind of things, without being over dramatic. Working in the education department has allowed me to take holidays off during the school break, something I've been very thankful for over the past couple years. I get to almost take 8 weeks off from work at times without compromising my annual pay, how awesome is that?

Anyways, the holiday that recently passed were probably one of the most challenging ones - mentally, emotionally, physically. I questioned myself so many times during these couple of months what my true level of resilience was. Resilience is something spoken about very often at work in Education, mostly spoken about in the context of a child. A child with low resilience might do some work with an OT or with a group of other children in order to develop and train themselves.



In my context, as stressor after stressor popped up, I didn't crumble, but I didn't function well either. I was exhausted mentally and couldn't really find the energy to do anything else but let my brain zone out when I had a chance. Perhaps the Australian work force has indeed been too soft on me, and I have, over the years, lost the ability to handle and respond effectively to stressful events. The things that broke me down were confrontations, or the anticipation that one might happen at any moment. The feeling on being on edge most of the time, with something looming at the back of my head was a very different experience to my carefree life in Australia.

Carefree life. I think I fully appreciate and understand that term now when I actually am living one.

Just check out the view of the sunset I get from my current home! You know how people say something has a 'magnificent view' or a 'breathtaking view' when they look out during a holiday? Well imagine having that all the time!

I have never been one of those who oo-ed and ah-ed at views or would ever think of paying for a 'room with a view'. My mum always never understood that and I suppose that influenced my view on views (hurhur pun intended). And I suppose being brought up in Singapore, there never was much of a view that would allow that much sky and nature.



Feel that warm sunshine on your face right now...


So after a rather tiring holiday, I returned to a couple more weeks of chaos before moving to an extremely gorgeous place where the views are amazing, the house is amazing, and I feel like my holiday has begun, and I'm thanking God for every single minute.